1 Year

In 1 Year so much has happened, there have been some big changes in my life.

I am most Excited that I am now Married.  Getting Married to My Man was such a wonderful day - the happiest day of my life.  Words cannot really capture the Joy and Excitement and Love of our day on 11 April 2011.  It was such a perfect day.  What made it so perfect was being so happy and in Love - we had the biggest smiles all day.  It was also a perfect day, being surrounded by so many of our closest Family and Friends, those who we Love.  My Nieces were our Flowergirls and they looked so beautiful - it was so special having them be a part of our day.  I love my Nieces so much.  And it was very special for me having my Mum and Dad share our day.  I am so lucky to now have a wonderful Husband - who is my best friend, my everything.  I am very blessed.

And our Honeymoon was FANTASTIC!  It was so great going away together to Fiji, we just loved it!  No computers, no TV, no phones, just beautiful warm weather, relaxing days just the two of us.  Bula, Bula - everyone is so friendly.  The food was incredible, so much food - best fish I have ever tasted.  My Man loved the snorkelling, I saw this totally new side to him - he was so active and excited about going snorkelling and kayaking.  And I loved the swimming pool - as soon as I woke up I was in my swimming costume and just loved swimming in the pool.  I really loved the opportunity to relax in paradise together.  PARADISE is the word!!!

The Turtle is important in Fiji - it means goodluck.  I loved the Turtles on Treasure Island.  My life has been filled with good blessings in the last 1 Year.

And I do believe in making my own goodluck.  I am blessed that My Man came into my life and yet I do know that as soon as I became clear and conscious about what I wanted in a relationship, that I was able to be so confident that My Man was so right for me.  I also did not settle for anything less than the Vision I had for my True Love.  Finally!!! I am happy and in Love.  And the greatest realisation is that neither my Husband or I have to be perfect - we Love each other, we can grow together, we can learn and get to know all the different Parts of each other - and best of all, we are the Creators of our life together.

In the last 1 Year I have also been learning from being in my own Coaching business.  I have been Coaching for 1 Year now and now is the time for self-reflection - to look at what I have learnt and take those learnings to plan for the next 1 Year ahead.

I am happy.  It has been a wonderful 1 Year.  I am also blessed that my Mum is well and happy and healthy and we had a lovely Mother and Daughter day today.  And I always love to see my Dad, it has also been a big 1 Year for him.

It has been a big 1 Year.  Some things are not within my control - and yet I am choosing to focus on what I can control - choosing positive thoughts, letting go of worry, and very importantly taking ACTION towards my Goals - what are my Goals?  Time to set some new Goals - where do I want to be 1 Year from now?  I have learnt from the last 1 Year that I can make a difference, that I can consciously choose - now it is time to Visualise 1 Year from now and also start taking steps in that direction.

This week I plan to make time to reflect on the question on the back of my Business Card -
Ask yourself from the heart, if I could be, do or have anything I would definitely...
... Stay tuned...

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Community

The other day I was with at my Parents' home and we were reminiscing about the days when I was a Runner.  I loved Running.  I was a part of a Running Club and I loved my Community.  I loved being part of this Community.  For a long time Running was a major part of my life - my week days and weekends were dedicated to training and competing.  And I loved it.  I do miss my Running and hope to get back to Running after we have a Family.  And I also love that now I have discovered new Parts of my Self.

I was showing My Man my photos from my Running and I also found a piece of writing from 26 January 2001 - 10 years ago.  Here is what I wrote:

"MISSION STATEMENT FOR THE NEXT 100 YEARS

My wish is that all people will become actively involved in, and enjoy the benefits of, true Community.

Community is where a group of two or more people, regardless of differences, are able to accept and transcend these differences, enabling them to work effectively towards common Goals.  In a true Community, members support and encourage one another.  It is a place where there is freedom to be oneself, where ideas, opinions, sorrows, joys and Dreams are shared.

I am so fortunate to be part of the Western District Joggers & Harriers Club, which is more than just a Running Club... we are a Community... a Community that makes a difference to people's lives week in and week out.  The Running Club Community which originated in mid 1967 with only a few members now has over 200 Members.  Our Running Club meets every Saturday morning at Lake Gillawarna, Georges Hall at 7:30am.  We are a Family Blub which promotes Health and Fitness, with our Members enjoying the benefits and good feelings associated with being a part of a true Community.

My wish is that every individual becomes involved and joins a Community - such as a sporting group, a social club, a volunteer organisation, a church group, or a hobby group - any place where you can meet up with other people who may have the same interest (even if the interest is based on a desire to meet new people and enjoy new friendships).  I believe that the benefits for the individual and society of building communities are immeasurable.

My wish is that everyone can be proactive in building Communities within all their day to day relationships - within their Marriages, Families, work environments, social groups, sporting groups, suburbs, cities and countries.

As individuals we can build Communities by:

- Doing what is right;

- Being open and honest in all our interactions;

- Encouraging, celebrating and accepting our Uniqueness and different opinions, thoughts and ideas;

- Listening and being genuinely interested in others;

- Learning from one another's experiences;

- Always doing the best you can, in all you do;

- Being personally committed to continuous improvement;

- Treating others, as you would like to be treated.

God gave us the best Gift of all - the Gift of free will - the ability to choose.  Each day we make Choices.  We can choose how we want to spend our time, who we want to be, our Attitude and how we act and react.

My wish is that today, on Australia Day, 26 January 2001, all individuals make a choice to take personal responsibility and make a Commitment, to being the best they can be, and to build Communities within all their relationships.

It only takes small changes as individuals - but together we can make a big difference in building a better world.

I hope my wish comes true."

I loved reading what I wrote 10 years ago - feeling Inspired and seeing that my Values and Philosophy are still very similar.  And for the last 6 months I have consciously been aware of my feeling of a lack of Community in my life, or rather, the desire for me to regain a sense of Community in my life.  I am Grateful that I have a strong sense of Belonging with my Family and now with My Man, and yet there is a Part of me longing to again be a Member of a broader Community.  The Journey of being a Member came out when I was working with my Coach last year.  And I also know in my Heart, that some of my happiest times was when I was part of my Running Community - it is a time that brought me such great joy. 

And I am Excited that I have found a Community that I am growing to love.  I feel so at home when I go to Church on a Sunday - Kingsway Community http://www.kingsway.org.au/Welcome. There is so much Spirit within this gathering of friends.  I am made to feel so welcome and at the same time given Space so that I am not overwhelmed or rushed to give more than I can.  I have been going on and off for about 2 years and it was only recently that I started going there again more frequently after being away for about 5-6 months.  When I went back to Church I was overwhelmed with this feeling of being at home, overwhelmed with being somewhere so special, so emotional that I was moved to tears - happy tears. 

I love being in Connection each week with new people and I really love the messages each week from the Pastors.  What I love is that the Pastor is able to make the bible readings very relevant for today.  I also love that what the Pastors talk about is very much in line with my work in Coaching.  I love the Kingsway Community Churchs' Mission and Vision - Refuge for Healing, River for Refreshment, Resource for Unity.  Just the other week one of the Pastors was talking about all people being in touch with their Uniqueness  in the divine plan - I loved listening and felt so Inspired after being at Church - especially since this is an area I am so Passionate about in working with my Clients - helping Clients connect to their own sense of Uniqueness and Greatness.  I also loved when one of the Pastors talked about Community as "sharing the joy of Hope".

I loved being at Church on Sunday.  I was actually Excited to be going, as I know I always enjoy the feeling of being in this Community.  This week at Church the Pastors talked about this year being a year of "letting go".  He talked about the verse in the bible from Hebrews 12:1-2 (ESV)  "since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us" and used the metaphor of an Olympic Runner who is trying to run with a whole crate of lead and how he will be slower versus someone who is free.  He gave examples of "Everything that hinders:
    * Unfulfilled and unrealistic expectations
    * Disappointments/hurts/offences
    * Fear and insecurities, self-esteem issues
    * Apathy/laziness
    * Busyness
    * Accumulation/material obsession/worldly goals
    * Self reliance
    * Isolation/individualism
    * Programs
    * Belief systems
    * Health/fitness issues – physical/emotional/spiritual
    * Facades/masks
    * Unhealthy relationships
    * Demarcation
    * Control/pride
    * My agenda
    * Judgemental criticism
    * Disobedience
    * Comfort
    * Bitterness/unforgiveness
    * “Rights”/title/position."
I loved how the Pastor talked about Mindsets, Beliefs and Attitudes that slow us down and trip us up, and the importance of Perseverence.  I just love that the language that is used at the Church is in line with my life and my Beliefs and my Coaching.  I just love these words in one of the Pastor's Blog "The exciting thing in all of this is the goal … which is greater FREEDOM. Imagine for a minute what it would be like to be totally free … free from ‘every weight’ that slows you down, hinders your relationships, distracts your purpose, hampers your development, obstructs your growth and holds you back from being the extraordinary person God wants you to be for Him and His kingdom … NOW. The more we can get rid of these burdens, weights and loads from our life, the better and more effective we will be …  and the more fun we will have together."

I feel very Inspired to become more involved in this Community.  Whenever I go to Church I feel Inspired to Volunteer and now I feel Inspired to offer up my Gift of Coaching.  I am not sure in what form I will be involved - I would be happy to offer some Workshops and Coaching and I am Excited that I spoke with one of the Team Leaders last Sunday and will meet her for a cuppa and see if I can be of Service.  I was also very interested to hear about the Youth Programme the Church is running and may be able to offer Coaching to one of the teenagers.  I was amazed to hear that of the Youth going to a Youth Group on a Friday night, only 20% are from Families who go to the Church, 80% of the Youth are coming on their own, perhaps connecting to a sense of Spirituality for the first time.

I am Excited to have found a Community that I love.

I am also very interested in joining in the Community of Coaches that is being led by the Vision of one of my friends from College.  We are meeting in a few weeks and I am looking forward to hearing more about the Vision and Mission of this Community.  My wish is that I can combine my interest in being involved in the Community of Coaches with my desire to be more involved in my local Community.

What I love about my Church Community is that they are Local and offer so many great Programs for the Local Community, and they are also very Conscious and Connected to the Global Community.  And I love the music, I love the music - it is a chance to rejoice and be Grateful.  Here are some of the songs from last Sunday that I loved singing
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MKAzYJcWSY
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UJtuyY8v1g (very Inspired by the words of this song)
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79055I6o-NQ

When I was a Member of my Running Club, I loved seeing friends week in and week out, being caring and supporting each other, being of Service in the Community as Club Captain, and also being of Service for the greater good (as we raised money for different charities).  My wish for my Self is that I become a true Member of a Community again, and I feel I am taking steps in the right direction.

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Perfect

Perfect - Defined as:
- conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type
- excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement
- exactly fitting the need in a certain situation or for a certain purpose
- entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings
- accurate, exact, or correct in every detail:
- expert; accomplished; proficient.

When do we start trying to be Perfect?  Is it when we are young and start school and try to get everything right so that we get some gold stars and be "good"?  Is it when we are teenagers and start comparing ourselves to other people in our class, stars on television, models in the magazines?  Is it when we start working and there is the pressure to know all the answers and act like we are great at every part of our job (especially since we try so hard at the interview to impress and 'act' like we will be Perfect for the role)?  Is it when we become Wives and fall 'victim' to the 'Perfect HouseWife Syndrome'?

I am about to become a Wife again and a big Part of me wants to be the Perfect HouseWife.

I remember years ago - years and years ago - when I bought my first home with a boyfriend, a man I thought I was going to marry.  I loved our house.  And I was keen to make it a home.  I wanted it to be Perfect.  After a few months, my boyfriend broke up with me - he said I was like 'Betty Crocker' and he wasn't ready to settle down, he wanted to travel and party and stay young - he wasn't ready.

And then years later I got married and my ex-husband was happy for me to be his Wife.  And I wanted to be Perfect.  And I struggled to be Perfect.  As a couple we were far from Perfect.  And in my Self I was searching to be Perfect, to find the Perfect career to make me happy.  And I had a lot of stuff - I remember that one of our bedrooms of our three bedroom home, the study, was a mess, and I would always quickly shut the door if we had visitors.  I hated that I wasn't Perfect.  And then the imperfections became  very clear as our marriage started falling apart and I started falling apart.  And this was a long time ago.

And now I am getting married again - and I can't wait!!!  It feels very different this time.  Last time, I remember 6 weeks before the wedding and I was worried about sending out the wedding invitations and I spent a lot of time thinking and justifying in my mind why I should get married - while my Intuition, my 'gut' feel, was yelling out to me - and I didn't take notice.  Now I pay attention to my Intuition and I am so Grateful that now every part of me knows that my marriage to be will be wonderful - our relationship is wonderful.  What I love about being with My Man most is that I can be Me.  I also love that I do not have to be Perfect.  And I love that My Man is Perfect to me.  We are both imperfectly Perfect.  We accept all Parts of each other. Our love is Perfect.  How Perfect that I can be my ImPerfect Self and be loved by My Man.

As a Coach I am always on the look out for my Clients' Perfectionists, who may be stopping my Clients from moving forward in achieving their Dreams.  In working with my Clients I help them access other Parts of Self so that they can set and achieve their Goals.

And so I ask my Self - what is the role of the Perfectionist in our lives?  What is the role of the Perfectionist in my life?  I know from my Training and experience that there is a Gift to every Part within our Self.  As I Dream about being a Perfect Wife I wonder what is the message here for me?

Just today I have been thinking about what I want to achieve before we get married - apart from having a Perfect Wedding Day.  I have set my Self some Goals that are important to me: 

- Clean my Study (so much paperwork and clutter)

- Organise my Superannuation

- Clean and organise and de-clutter my garage (again). 

Perhaps the Gift of my Perfectionist is that this Part of me is reminding me of what needs to be done to clear clutter and Create Space in my home and in my mind.  And it is easy to be motivated to achieve these Goals as I know that I will feel very happy.  I always feel good after housework - I actually enjoy cleaning.  Now it is time to make more time for our home and my personal finances - it is time to get done what is important to me -  to treat these as Priorities in my life. 

It is my Mum and Dad's 43rd Wedding Anniversary today - which is beautiful.  I feel bad that I am not the Perfect Daughter as I have had such a busy week and day that I forgot that today was their special day - and now I am justifying and finding excuses.  And I am happy that my Mum and Dad had a lovely day out today - that is most important - and so it doesn't matter if I wasn't Perfect in my own eyes - what is most Perfect is that I love my Mum and Dad so much and they love me.

I love that I have such wonderful role models of marriage from my Mum and Dad.  And I do think that my Mum and Dad are both Perfect.  And My Man and I will be Perfect in our own way, in our unique way.

And as I think about my upcoming marriage I do believe that things will be different - I want things to be different.  I know that I will feel different.  We have lived together for a year now and yet I know for me marriage is different.  Some people say that when they get married it is no different from living together.  And yet I know it will be different, I want it to be different.  Getting married for me is a very BIG deal, especially after I have been previously married and it did not work.  I believe that I will feel different.  And I want the exterior to also be different - and so I want to do a BIG clean up before we get married.  It has been challenging moving 2 x 2 bedroom homes into 1 unit - and that is just an excuse.

I think that I have been so against being Perfect, that I have been too Relaxed.  And I have loved the Relaxed Part of me - it lets me relax on the lounge and watch my favourite shows after having a busy day at work.  And now it is time to bring the Organiser Part of me onto the Stage of my life and help me achieve my Goals before I get married - and I don't have to be Perfect.

I need to remind my Self - I don't have to be Perfect.

I don't want to be like the women in 'Stepford Wives' - I just want to be My Self.

Now that I am a Life Coach, working with Clients to create a life that they Love, I often challenge my Self - shouldn't I be Perfect and have every area of my life at a 10 out of 10?  Sometimes this is what I ask my Self - and then I remind my Self that I do not have to be Perfect - that, like my Clients, I am also on a Journey and I am learning and growing.  What I can promise my Self and my Coaching Clients is that I am committed to Self-Reflection, Self-Awareness and Self-Development.  With this promise and knowing I can be less Perfect and more accepting and more loving to my Self.

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Stop

Stop - that's what I need to do when I decide to eat chocolate.  I have to Stop eating chocolate!

Growing up I loved chocolate.  It was always a special treat on the day my Mum went shopping, where she would buy a block of chocolate or we would get some dairy milk rolls as a special treat.  And then at school, I loved eating strawberry freddos.  I always liked chocolate.  And then I became super serious with my running, and for a long time, maybe around 5-7 years, I didn't eat any chocolate or any sugar or any cakes or any treats.  I loved that I was so disciplined and I felt healthy in some ways - and in other ways my diet was so extreme that it was stressful, especially since I was also vegan.

And so I started becoming more flexible with my diet.  Now my preference is vegetarian, although I do eat fish.  And since I met My Man I started eating Lindt chocolate.  And yet the truth is that even though I like chocolate, every time I eat it, I feel sick.  I thought that it may be me feeling guilty that I was eating chocolate and yet I eat it so rarely that I do not feel guilty - I just feel sick.  I eat chocolate, I definitely enjoy the chocolate, and then within a short period of time I get a headache, stomach ache and my legs start aching - I then lie in bed feeling sick.  And often the next day I wake up with a chocolate hangover - feeling heavy and tired and sick.  And I know all of this, and I still, from time to time, maybe once a week or once a fortnight, decide to eat chocolate.

The last two nights I have had chocolate.  And it might not sound like a big deal, considering I don't eat chocolate very much - yet it is a big deal, given that it makes me feel sick - I feel that I am allergic to something in chocolate - and I know it, and I still eat it.  The good news is, that I haven't really had much chocolate since Christmas, and so I know it is not an addiction and I know I can give it up - and I want to Stop eating it - to best look after my Self.

And I am aware that eating chocolate or sweets can often be linked to our emotional state - and I have definitely had two huge and challenging days at work - and I am conscious of eating chocolate - and often it is because I like the taste, and then the delight is very quickly replaced with regret.

I've been reading 'The Best Year Of Your Life' by Debbie Ford, an amazing book, and I love the poem by Portia Nelson, which illustrates how we "keep engaging in the same behaviours over and over again".

- "I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in... it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street."


I love this poem.  I feel Inspired when I read the words.  And I could definitely relate to the words, particularly for previous relationships that did not serve me.  And now for chocolate.  It makes no sense to me why I continue to eat chocolate, even if it is only every now and then, when it moves me away from my preferred happy and healthy Self - and so I am making the commitment to Stop.

My Strategy is to make sure I pause before taking a piece of chocolate, and in that moment I will imagine a Stop sign - as well as projecting forward and remembering how unwell I will be if I eat the chocolate. 

I am also Excited that I am getting married in 8.5 weeks and I also plan to Visualise my Self in my Yellow Dress, as I want to feel my best.  As we are also trying for a baby, which is SO important to me, I am also planning to imagine keeping my body healthy and strong for our beautiful baby.

By writing this Post, I am showing all of me, including my imperfections  - which is interesting, as I have continued to eat chocolate every now and then so that I am not being so strict on my Self and not being too perfect.  In Coaching, I am often on the look out for the Perfectionist Part of my Clients that sabotage Self-Esteem and can affect our achieving of our Dreams - and yet I need to get real - eating chocolate does not serve me.  I am using this Space to detail my Goal of not eating any chocolate at all anymore, and to also hold my Self Accountable to my Self.

Of course I have also asked My Man for support and asked him not to offer me any chocolate or buy me any chocolate, and to also tackle me if I make my way to the fridge to have some of his chocolate.  Time for me to be focused and Stop.  It's that simple.  And instead of chocolate I will choose a peppermint tea which I always enjoy and makes me feel relaxed and at peace.

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To Love and Be Loved

To Love and Be Loved - the Greatest Gift of all.  I feel VERY happy that in 9 weeks time I will be married to My Man.  We were originally planning to get married on 14 March 2011 and now we have had to move it back until 11 April 2011, due to the decision to move the ceremony to a different venue.  And I can't wait!!!

I am ready!!! 

When My Man and I were engaged I felt very happy and in love.  It was the most wonderful day - a day to always be remembered - a day of dreams coming true.  My Man is very romantic and thoughtful and makes a big effort for me - he is wonderful - I am blessed.  For as long as I can remember I have always been a true romantic - I have always been looking for my True Love.  I just love romantic movies, songs, and for every television show, I am always most interested in the developing relationships and wanting people to fall in love. 

And so when we got engaged, it was so perfect - yet it wasn't long before the Shadow Parts of me began to surface, where I started feeling unsure, with worries from my previous experience of marriage.  It was no surprise when I started having doubts.  After a failed marriage and me being unwell, I actually expected that I would start feeling the Runner Part of me wanting to run away, especially after I had also been engaged to another man after my failed marriage (and ran away).  Luckily the bigger Part of me, this time, wants to stay (and now I choose to stay and thrive) forever.

Lucky for me, I have a WONDERFUL Mentor and Coach, who helped me get in touch with what I want most of all - to marry My Man.  I love Coaching and I am Grateful that I have experienced the power of Coaching.  Through Coaching with my Coach I was able to get in touch with the voice of my Innocence, allowing the Caretaker Part of me to listen closely to the Innocence Part of me.

And then once I knew the Truth, my Truth, my deepest desire To Love and Be Loved, to marry My Man, it was then the role of the Warrior Part of me to protect my Truth, from other Parts of me.  So many Parts trying to come onto the stage of my life.

I also love that my beautiful Coach helped me step into my Creator energy.  When I was in a place of doubt and uncertainty, I was also in a place of powerlessness, an energy I felt when I was previously married, a time of sadness and depression and hopelessness.  Through Coaching I was able to regain a sense of feeling empowered, that there are always choices - and most importantly that My Man and I can tap into the Creator Parts within us to Create our own unique and special relationship.  A big THANK YOU to my Coach, a woman who has made a big difference in my life, a woman who Inspires me.

I love the Creator Part of me.  I love the Creator Part within us all and love helping Clients find this Part within Self.  How exciting to realise that we have the power to make choices, to Create a wonderful life that is right for our own Self, to write our own unique stories.

And so after being Coached by an incredible Coach, I have been able to get in touch with what is true for me, and what I've known for so long, that My Man is the right Man for me.  I am very in love and can't wait to be Husband and Wife.  The other Parts of me, the different voices of my internal dialogue, that were causing me unnecessary doubt, are no longer around me - I am so happy that I am marrying My Man.

As well as a change in the ceremony venue, we have also decided to get married in a Church.  Our Priest is lovely - and I feel so honoured that he will marry us.  In the last couple of days I have been searching for music to play at our wedding and I have found some beautiful songs.  I have found this beautiful song which we may play for walking down the aisle http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sE40VAIpfI and a beautiful song for when we sign our certificates http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5qp0FQWq2M

There is still much to do and yet I feel relaxed - and that is a wonderful surprise for me.  I was watching 'Packed To The Rafters' tonight, a show I love, and one of the characters Ben was making a speech at his friend's engagement party and he said these words that definitely resonated with me "two best friends who make a life together no matter what the future brings".

I can't wait to get married!!!

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Listen To Your Heart

It has been a busy weekend planning our wedding - tomorrow it will be 7 weeks until our big day.  Planning our wedding has been an interesting exposure to many key learning opportunities for me - one of the main reminders for me is about the importance to Listen To Your Heart. 

In planning a wedding, there are so many decisions to be made - it is actually a great exercise in decision making.  It is interesting that over the course of my life I have always viewed myself as someone who is indecisive, believing that it is a trait of me being of Libra starsign.  I have even completed management courses on decision making and yet for a long time I have struggled with making decisions, even believing that I have made so many bad decisions, wrong decisions, and I have found it humorous that I still make bad decisions after studying the process through courses and reading books.

I have previously thought that one process of decision making was to get out a piece of paper and write down all of the pros and cons, the for and against - and through this process, what seems to be the obvious decision "should" appear (this is the theory).  And yet often this is a process that just involves thinking, not always how we are feeling.  A good example of this process is when in the 'Sex and the City: The Movie' Miranda and Steve separate and Miranda is deciding if she should reconcile the marriage and she spends time writing her list.  It is interesting that this does not reveal the truth to her - it is only when she listens to herself, her heart, her own Truth that she races to meet her Husband on Brooklyn Bridge and they kiss and express how much they love each other.

Through my Coaching Course and over the last two years I have learnt the fail proof way to make decisions, it is such a simple process, a simple Truth, a Truth that I am still practicing and perfecting and a Truth I want to share with My Man, Family, Friends - very much with my Clients.  THE TRUTH - Decision Making 101 - Listen To Your Heart.

I don't know when we stop listening to our own Heart, perhaps when we go to school and we start learning all of these facts and figures and there is so much emphasis on thinking and using our minds.  Or is it when we start high school and we experience peer pressure and "try hard" to fit into the crowd.  Or is it through reading all of the magazines and watching all of these advertisements and we strive for perfection according to what "they" say - always trying to please others.  No wonder we get confused and lose a sense of ourselves.

As you Listen To Your Heart, it is definitely not a process of thinking - it is a process of feeling, listening, sitting in the quietness - what is our gut feel, what is the feeling in our body - and it is in the quietness we can hear the call of our Soul - it is in the spaciousness that we can feel Spirit rising.

One of the main areas of my Coaching work is helping Clients get in touch with their own Truth and to live from this place.  I love my work as a Coach, it is so rewarding.  It is also very important to me that I am an Integral Practitioner, that I live my own Truth and apply what I am learning.

My wedding has been a great opportunity to practice being true to my Self.  When it comes to a wedding, everyone has an opinion of how it "should" be done, what is expected - and there are so many magazines (beautiful images) that draw us in - and it is easy to get caught up with the excitement and wanting the day to be perfect.  And of course there is nothing wrong with wanting it to be perfect in our own way.

Today I had a tough moment with my Mum.  I love my Mum so much, my Mum is my best friend.  I worry about my Mum and I am so Grateful that my Mum is feeling well and that she will be with us to celebrate our special day.  Today my Mum came over to look at my dresses - I have 2 dresses that have been hanging in my cupboard as potential wedding dresses.  There is the cream lace wedding dress that is beautiful and that my Mum loves - and I like.  And there is my very special Yellow gown that I LOVE.  I showed my Mum my Yellow gown with my beautiful brooch and my beautiful shoes that I bought yesterday (I love my shoes - I finally get how Carrie in 'Sex and the City' feels so much love of shoes - it is true they make my dress more beautiful).  As soon as I put on my Yellow dress I felt magical, I felt special, I felt alive, I felt confident, I felt beautiful, I felt ME.  My Mum liked the dress - more than she had the first time she had seen it - and I felt we had turned a corner.  Unfortunately I made the mistake of trying on the other lace dress, after my Mum asked me to try it on - and then I saw the look in my Mum's eyes - she liked the lace dress more - best of all.  For me the lace dress is beautiful and yet I do not feel it is the right dress for me.  I took off the dress, put it in the bag and felt disappointed and upset, very disappointed.  My Mum also looked sad and said that she was just telling me her opinion.  I told my Mum that I loved my Yellow dress, that this was right for me, that this felt right for me.  I told my Mum that she had raised me to be an individual, to be my own person and most of all I wanted my Mum to say that most of all she just wanted me to be happy and to wear the dress that made me happy.

I felt sad that my Mum was upset.  It made me very sad.  And yet I know that wearing the dress I love on our wedding day is just a symbol of my decision to live my own Truth, to follow this sacred principle of Listen To Your Heart.  And I do believe that by listening to my Heart and following my Truth, that this is Inspired by God - forever and always encouraging me to be true to my Self, to be my Self, loving me for my Self.

After my Mum left I played one of my favourite songs - 'Who Are You Listening To' Ginny Owens
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqEbOaD3Qa8
I love these words -
"This is your life,
And yet somehow,
They decide,
What you're about,
You learn your lines,
And take your cues,
But who are you listening to?

You change your clothes,
And how you speak,
You place your hope,
In what they think,
Before you know
There's no more you,
Who are you listening to-
Have you noticed how much you fear,
All the voices you choose to hear

Who are you listening to?
Who tells you what to do?
Who rules your thoughts at night?
Whose rules define your life?
Oh, you know it's up to you,
So who are you listening to

This is your life,
You have no choice,
You will rely
On someone's voice,
And it's all right
To question who,
Who are you listening to?
Do the words that you believe
Set your soul and spirit free

There's a quiet voice,
Whispering in your heart,
It's been there all along,
It believes in you,
It will tell the truth,
Can't you hear it call?" 

I love this song.

About 10 minutes after my Mum left, I received a call from my Mum.  My Mum told me that she liked my Yellow dress - I was overcome with emotion hearing my Mum's voice and don't really remember the exact words.  I told my Mum that I loved her and my Mum said "I love you and that's why I want you (don't think it was that exact word) to wear the dress that makes you happy".  I could hear my Mum was emotional and was crying ((unlike my Mum (not very unlike me, I am often getting emotional, including now as I watch'Australia')).

Our wedding is 7 weeks away tomorrow and there are still decisions to be made and I am committed to listening to my Heart and loving My Man as we work together to create our special day - and that's another lesson for me - in relationship, the importance of staying true to my Self AND also listening to, and honouring, what makes My Man happy.  It is true that in the planning of our wedding, I am learning so much, and practicing skills that will serve us forever and always in our relationship.

It is now 12.01am Monday - now it is today - 7 weeks away will be our day.

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2011!!!

2011!!!  I love the beginning of a New Year - it is such a great chance to set a Vision for the New Year - it is always a great chance for reflection and a great opportunity for excitement. 

It has been great being on holidays this week - just a chance to relax and recharge and get ready for NOW, the New Year, 2011!!!  One of my favourite things this week has been going to the Moonlight Cinema - I love being outdoors and I love movies and so it is a perfect enjoying this setting with My Man.  We watched 'Life As We Know It' - a love story with a baby, loved it, love love stories, love babies.

This week I have also loved the chance to read a novel - wow - a story - fiction.  I have always loved  reading non-fiction, self-development books - and since becoming a Coach I now read personal development books with a broader agenda, which means I am always thinking how I can apply this knowledge for myself and to help my Clients.  And so WOW - how great it feels to not think and just read a story.  I read 'The Forgotten Garden' by Kate Morton - loved it - loved it so much that I just wanted to keep reading every chance I got - and what a great way to relax.

Another highlight this week has been planning our wedding - still a lot to do - and yet we got started.  It is exciting and there is so much to do - and I feel relaxed trusting it will all come together. 

New Year's Eve was great!!!  We went to our favourite restaurant - an intimate Japanese restaurant - great food - just the two of us.  We had been invited to a party with friends and yet we also like to enjoy a quiet night together as a great way to begin the New Year.

I loved the chance to reflect on our highlights of 2010 over dinner - so many highlights - getting engaged, starting to try for our own baby, my Mum feeling healthy, my Dad bouncing back after heart surgery, starting my own Coaching Business, My Man getting a new job (his dream job), My Man's Mum enjoying a nice holiday, time with my Nieces, time with our Families, day trips, dinners out, birthday celebrations, holiday away to Nelson Bay.  For us there have been big things - and there has been much simplicity and small things being the big things.

After a lovely dinner, we enjoyed taking a walk along the beach  I really love where we live.  And then at home I loved watching a love story and watching the fireworks.  It was nice to be at home when we enjoyed the 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 Happy New Year 2011!!!  It is great to feel so at home in our home, feeling so at home in my Self, feeling so at home with another.  How many New Year's Eve nights, how many nights was I wishing I would kiss My True Love - I have always been looking for Love - and now I can stop searching - YAHOO!!!

So here we are - 2011!!!  We enjoyed a nice lunch with Family and then a nice relaxing afternoon - a perfect start to the New Year.  And how do I want this year to be for me - where do I want to be when I am sitting here on the first day of 2012 - how will I know it has been a great year?  This time next year I will be a happy wife, a Mum, we will be living in a new home, my main work will be my lifework working one on one with my Coaching Clients and also running Workshops and Group Coaching and I will be writing books.  What will not change - the most important thing to me is time with everyone I Love - Love will always be most important to me.

I love that I have my Vision Board for my Life Design in our bedroom - it is great seeing this when I wake up everyday - it is simple and it is clear - everything that is important to me.

And I love that I am in touch with my Passions and my Values.  I have these on a board that I will also post up next to my bed - so that everyday I will remember what makes me feel alive - here I am 2011!!!

This is what it reads -

What are my PASSIONS?  What Brings Me Alive?
How would I wish to spend my last day on earth? 
Actually this is how  I want to LIVE EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE...
”And these are a few of my favourite things...”

Love - Partner, Family, Friends, Clients, Love to All - I also can’t wait to be a Mum and have our own beautiful baby

God  -  Living InSpirit - Open to Inspiration, Space for the Rising of Spirit, Belief that we are all here for a Divine Purpose - I Am Here to Love and Serve

Connection - One-on-one sharing of Sacred Space, PRESENCE with another - Seeing, Honouring, Acknowledging the Light and Gifts in another - Loving and Encouraging Uniqueness and Greatness  (Unity in Diversity, Joy of Differences and Similarities, Moment-to-Moment we can Rejoice in ‘X-Factor’ in each other - one of my favourite parts of College has been enjoying and being a Witness to the AMAZING Gifts and Uniqueness in each of us - WOW,  AND Connection even when it is hard - Conscious Acceptance and  Love of What Is...)

Coaching - I am very Passionate about Coaching  and the opportunity to help Clients feel Self-Love, learn to be true to Self and feel Empowered to Create a life that Inspires and Excites them

Nature - Birds, trees, flowers, walking through the bush, floating in the ocean

Personal Development - Learning, Reading, Studying, Self-Reflection, Growth

Balance - Being/ Doing, Life/ Work, Personal/Professional, Solitude/ Intimacy - Allowing Space in my life for new interests to emerge - looking forward to enjoy time for sewing, writing, cooking, creating

Health - Self-Care Physically, Mentally, Emotionally, Spiritually

Gratitude - Daily Reflection of all the beauty, wonders, miracles and Gifts in my life

Community - Feeling of Home and Belonging - Desire to Contribute - Feeling a sense of Love and Connection with others - Passionate about Encouraging Community to be Inclusive rather than Exclusive - Passionate about Contributing and being of Service Locally and Globally

Being Present - Mindfulness, Living in the Moment, Being Spontaneous and EMBRACING NOW,  Enjoying Now, Trusting the Flow.

And I find that by Being Present in 2011 I am able to enjoy the Gifts of every day.  Today when I am glancing out the window I am so Grateful for the Frangipani Tree that I can see - the flowers are beautiful - a Gift from God, and I have such great thanks.

And now I am so Grateful that I can make a nice cup of peppermint tea and relax with my Man.

To 2011 - to making every day a great day living a Passionate life.  To making dreams come true.  To being Me.  And so important is to Love and Serve - to live my life on Purpose - to Spread The Yellow.

2011!!!  I am ready.

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White Butterflies

Has anyone/ everyone noticed that White Butterflies are everywhere right now?   I love Butterflies and I am in delight when I see them prancing and dancing among the flowers.  I especially love when I see two White Butterflies dancing together - seeing Butterflies makes my heart sing.

It is perfect to be seeing and enjoying the beauty of Butterflies - a symbol of change and transformation - timely for me and most probably true for many as we journey towards the end of 2010, towards 2011.

I am very Excited to be finished my Diploma of Transformational Coaching Course.  It has been an amazing, AMAZING Course.  I am very Grateful for my Teachers who have Inspired me and helped me be the best Life Coach that I can be and have taught me the importance of Self-Reflection as an opportunity to keep learning and growing - and Inspired me through their commitment to study. 

And I am also very Grateful that I belong to a Community of wonderful women who have made the experience of becoming a Life Coach so rich and alive and meaningful and real.

Our final weekend for our Course was a chance for Self-Reflection and Honouring, Sharing, Transition and Celebration.  I loved the opportunity to create a Journey Stick, choosing a stick from Nature and decorating it with colour, representing where we have been and where we are going to - our Past and our Future.  And I loved having the symbol of the Butterfly on my Journey Stick. 

I felt like it was the ‘Love Fest’ - so much Love, Heart-Felt Acknowledgement, Warmth, Authenticity, Presence, Connection, Community.  When I talk about Spread The Yellow, this was it - the exchange of Love, Light, Positive Energy, seeing the Light and Spirit in each other - WOW!!!  On the final day of our Course I loved that our Teachers set up a Threshold to represent this time of Transition - Completion of our study and Forward Movement to a new time in our lives. As we were walking down the stairs towards the Threshold, I was looking around at all of the beauty, aliveness, incredible-ness in each of my fellow Soul Sisters and I felt so Excited - Excited at the difference we can make in the world.  May we be the White Butterflies prancing and dancing among the flowers.

With the White Butterfly a symbol of Transformation, this is true in so many ways for me (apart from finishing my Course).  It is interesting as the last two years has highlighted the importance of Balance for me - Balance of Personal and Professional, Doing and Being, Solitude and Intimacy, Activity and Relaxing.  I am Excited that although I love Coaching and love working with people on their Journey - I am also committed to my own Journey, my own life, my own life separate from my lifework.  Two years ago I never would have guessed that I would be here planning my wedding, finally letting go of relationships that did not serve me, and being open to True Love. 

This year sharing Christmas Day together and together with our Families was very special.  Although My Man and I exchanged so many Gifts and there were so much Gift giving with my Nieces - my favourite Gift of all is that of being together - it is what I appreciate the most.  We enjoyed a beautiful, relaxing lunch with My Man's Mum and I was so happy that my Mum and Dad were also guests for lunch.  

 

And after enjoying the relaxing day, we then entered the chaos of time with my Brother, Sister-In-Law and my three beautiful Nieces - and I loved it all!!!  Presents, giggles, hugs, kisses, laughter.  And more food!

And time on the trampoline - the new trampoline that Santa brought my Nieces.  I love My Nieces - they are White Butterflies in my life - dancing and prancing and so in the moment.

For me Love and Family are the most important and I am Grateful that my Coaching Course also helped me come Home to my Self - where I feel relaxed, at peace and HAPPY.  Meditations from our Final Course at College and the experience of creating our Journey Stick, highlighted to me that I was once a person chasing Happiness, so busy being busy, busy chasing Love - now I AM HAPPY, now I AM LOVE.  Now I AM.  Now I AM ME.

It is definitely a time of Change and Transformation - the merging of our two Families and the creating of our own Family.  We are getting married in 12 weeks and there is much to do - and we are also looking forward to having our own baby - now that will be most wonderful!!! 

And I want to be like the White Butterflies - just enjoying the flowers, the sunshine, the freedom of being alive, the joy of being me, the joy of being in relationship.  We have a poster in our living area that speaks to my heart and is a great reminder of what to bring into each and every day "Live - Laugh - Love".

The ironic thing tonight is that as I am about to publish this Blog about White Butterflies, there are two small moths flying around our home, flying close to me.  I have never been a fan of moths and yet they are so similar to Butterflies (and very different) - as I am reminded by My Man.  It is interesting, Google tells me that Butterflies fly during the day and moths fly during the night - and without doubt this is symbolic of one of my other greatest learnings of the last two years - that there is Light and Dark, day and night, sunshine and rain - and I can be with all - I can be with the Paradox - I can be with Joy, I can be with Pain.  Perhaps it is true that I most delight when I am in the Light and see the Butterfly - I have a natural tendency to move towards the Positive and the sunshine - this is my nature and my strength as a Life Coach.  And I have learnt to be in Sacred Space with sorrow - I can be still and calm (rather than panic) when I am in the Dark or feel the movement of the moth.  

I am now Home in my Self - and I can take that with me wherever I Am - I have all of my Strengths and Resources - when I am at Home in my Self I am in My Yellow Heart - I Am Love, Light, Truth and Peace - this is my Soul's Home, in the quietness I feel the rising of Spirit, I am in Connection with God.  When I am Home in my Self I can see that I am the Butterfly, I am the Moth, I am All.

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Music Moves Me

Balance is important to me.  Sometimes I like silence.   I especially love silence when I am out walking - I don't like listening to music while I am outdoors in Nature - I just love the silence and the Space.  And I love when I can enjoy silence at home, silence in the car - just time to have Space.   I am so fortunate that this year I have been able to enjoy more Space in my life.

And at other times I love listening to Music.  I love Music.  I love when I am cooking and I remember to put on one of my favourite CDs and I dance and sing around the kitchen.  Or it is after dinner and I put on a song and My Man and I dance around the loungeroom.  And I love when I dance around with my three beautiful Nieces, we hold hands and spin around - it is a joyful time.  I recently found hundreds of CDs in my garage and I have been meaning to gather some of my favourite CDs and bring them into our home to enjoy.

When I am driving to work I also love listening to songs that make me feel Inspired - I love when Music Moves Me.  I love when a great song comes on the radio or on one of my CDs and I turn up the volume and feel Energised.

Two of my favourite songs that I listen to when I am driving to meet with my Coaching Clients are by Shannon Noll - 'Lift' and 'Shine'. 

I love 'Lift' - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gUWbPzDGuo

The words of this piece of Music Moves Me:
- "I know you're hurting"
- "Seems like forever
That you've been falling"
- "Your life is calling, yeah"
- "This was never meant to be the end
Close the book and start again"
- "Cos I know how hard it can get"
- "I know you're stronger"
- "You've got to lift yourself up above all
the hurt - Don't give in"


I also love the song 'Shine' - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_9id4I0pCw

I love the song since my Business is called 'SHINE Coaching' and I love the words and passion of this song - I definitely feel Excited and Inspired. 

I love these words:
- "Today's the day you hold the world with your song
Go now, go now, go now, help escalate
Angels come down, help with this parade
To hear your voice ring out
Come on and shout it
Let your song be heard

- "This is the time
This is the day that we've been waiting for
All the world will stop to watch you shine
This is the time
This is the day that we've been waiting for
All the world believes that you will shine"

These songs help me feel positive and uplifted.  Music definitely has the power to make me feel wonderful.  And yet today when I was looking on 'youtube' I came across a short clip with Music and images that touched me with a deep sadness.  This song and clip is definitely not uplifting - instead it makes you very much stop and just sit with hard realities  

- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvgXelgVqBE&feature=related

I love to be positive and uplifted and yet this clip is also a reminder of the tragedy and pain in the world that affects individuals, families, communities, countries.  And as I sit and watch the images I almost watch in disbelief and the world stops around me, as I sit with the horror and tragedy of the world events.  I am humbled and I feel compassion and empathy for my fellow brothers and sisters.  

Watching this clip reminds me that there are so many things that we cannot control - and yet we can choose to love others and Spread The Yellow - offering Connection and Acknowledgement - sitting and sharing Sacred Space with another in good times and in times of pain.  We can choose to offer a smile, a kind word, a hug.  We can see the light in another and help them see the light in themselves and the light in their world.

And we can hold the Paradox - Gratitude for the Joy and Light in our own lives and also holding the realities of darkness and sadness.  And I definitely feel Inspired after watching this clip to be active, to help others and work in Community, to Make A Difference, and to take a Stand for human rights and what is right.

I am so Grateful for the Light in my life.  I would like to share one last clip (not to take away  from, or forget, the sadness of the previous clip).  This is a great song that I heard the other day.  My Man and I are  currently planning our wedding - and I am feeling Excited.  We are planning to have this as our wedding song - it is fun and I love the words "you take me the way I am"

- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBKAPazypwc&feature=related

This clip and the words make us laugh  and we are blessed to have found True Love with each other.  In True Love we can share the happiness and the sadness, the joy and the pain - we can embrace life together.

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Opportunity For Self-Reflection

Over the last couple of months, I have been enjoying the Opportunity For Self-Reflection.  This has been a recommendation as part of my Life Coaching Professional Training and it has been life changing for me.  I feel that I have learnt so much about my Self and that I am now so in touch with my Inner Strengths and Resources.  I have found Peace.  My Journey is only just beginning and I am Excited. 

MY YELLOW HEART
Initially my Self-Reflection was about observing where I spend my time - in my Mind, Feelings or Body.  I quickly realised that I was spending a lot of time thinking, a lot of time overthinking.  In my Mind I was thinking about the Past and the Future, thinking about things I couldn't change, thinking about what I did and didn't like about work - just thinking, thinking, thinking.  NOW I am excited that I am able to bring myself into the NOW - to be fully Present - I am not in thinking mode, or feeling mode, I am in a neutral, relaxed position.  My Touchstone, my symbol of this Presence, is My Yellow Heart.  I have a sense that My Yellow Heart is my Soul's Home.  It is a place of Love, Light, Peace and Truth.  It is a resting place.  I feel myself totally relaxed in my Body, totally Present.  When I am sitting with my Clients I am in My Yellow Heart - totally Present, creating a Sacred Space.

When I reflect on my Coaching Business logo, and what my work is about for my Clients, I feel that I am able to experience the essence of my logo - where I am sitting in a relaxed place, in My Yellow Heart, and then from this place I will naturally bring my Yin and Yang into the Coaching Space.

I find that I am no longer wasting energy thinking about my Past or what is not within my control.  I find that I am more at Peace.  I find that I have an Inner Strength that supports me.  If I find myself going back into an old pattern of worrying or thinking, I imagine a STOP sign and with the image of My Yellow Heart, I am able to come back to the Present moment.

Or if I am drawn back to the Past, I bring in the image of boxes all packed up and come back to the NOW.  I bring in the images of the boxes if I start thinking about my Past, wasting mental energy - in this way I am able to see that these memories are in the Past, the boxes are closed and stacked away.

And if I look at my Past from a Spiritual perspective, I am able to see that all of my experiences are part of who I am and my Journey.  My Past experiences have motivated me to become a Coach and a Healer.  From this perspective, when I do turn to my Past, I feel that all my stories and life experiences are like books in a bookshelf.  As books in the bookshelf I am able to open and close them and certainly refer to the lessons to help me in my life.  My life experience also gives me an incredible sense of Compassion for my Clients.

 
In My Yellow Heart I feel Love and Light, I am Presence, I am in the NOW.  In this place I am able to hear the whisper of my Soul's longing and feel the rising of Spirit in my Self and my Life.

Being in Presence has been very important to me, especially with all of the ups and downs and swings and roundabouts in my life.  When I am Present, I also have a sense of Trust that all will be okay, that I have the Strength within me.


MY ARCHETYPES

I have also loved the Opportunity For Self-Reflection to get to know my Archetypes - I have loved this Opportunity.  I have found that there is so much Power and Strength in knowing all of these Parts of me and choosing how they show up in my life and when to bring them on the Stage in my life.

I have also found, that these different Parts of me, naturally emerge when I am in my Presence, totally Present in My Yellow Heart, when I am living in the Now.

I have enjoyed Art Therapy, sketching and colouring with my crayons and pencils.  I have enjoyed walks in Nature.  I have enjoyed being a Client and working with my Coach.  I have enjoyed Meditation.  I especially loved the 'Gathering of the Whole' Meditation where I was able to be a witness and interact with my Archetypes.  I have also enjoyed reading about the different Archetypes and selecting images that resonate for me.  While I have been researching the Archetypes, I am not sitting in a place of trying to understand the theory - instead, I am really sitting into the truth of what this is for me, and with a curiosity of what is possible from this Part of my Self.

I loved getting to know my Yin and Yang and now I am loving getting to know my Archetypes which have both Yin and Yang in them.  I feel that when I am in tune with my Yin Intuition, my 'gut feel', I am able to get my Yang to speak and act for the Highest Good.  I am still learning about these Parts of me and I am enjoying getting to know My Sage, Nature Child, Innocent Child, Caretaker, Regular Gal, Wanderer, Warrior, Jester, Destroyer, Organiser, Creator, Magician, Visionary, Lover, Healer.    

My Sage

I have a strong sense of My Sage - My Wise Self.  In my 'Gathering of the Whole' Meditation I imagined meeting My Sage.  My Sage stood right next to me, the Observer part of me.  My Sage is glowing and full of Light.  I feel energised in her Presence.  My Sage tells me "I am here, I am always here".  My Sage is connected to the Love and Light of the Universe.  I am Grateful to find this Part of me to be so Resourceful and Helpful.  I draw on My Sage to Guide me.  My Intent is to draw on the Wisdom of My Sage and speak and act more often from this Part of me. 

There is the question of what is the new belief that is true for me?  Looking at the Shadow of The Sage, perhaps the belief in me was that I had to know everything, or find the answer outside of my Self - however, now I am learning that My Sage is connected to God, Inspired by Spirit and I can draw on Universal Wisdom.  From this place, I can Trust my Self, rather than searching for the answers outside of my Self.   

My Caregiver

In the last few months I have spent a lot of time in My Caregiver Archetype.  I am learning a lot about My Caregiver Part of my Self.  I naturally move into a Caregiver with my Nieces and my Parents and My Man and my Brother.  There are many positives of My Caregiver in that I am loving and caring and helpful and want to take away the pain of my Family.  In terms of images, I felt that this was My Caregiver - a traditional image of a Mother and Child.  What I am learning is that this Caregiver image can best serve me and encourage me to look after my own vulnerable child within - making sure I make Self-Care a Priority.  My Caregiver is learning to balance Self-Care with Care for others.

And in my Self-Reflection I am realising that I need to also evolve the essence of My Caregiver - moving away from coming across as the Parent of my Nieces, Brother, Parents or My Man.  And so I am Consciously shifting My Caregiver Part of me.  By being a Witness to my Self, I am learning that I need to be there for my Family and offer help and yet I need to remember the words "I am I, You are You".  With my Family, especially my Brother and my Parents I need to communicate from a place of Sacred Space and Trust my Family - not try to be the Parent.  I need to Trust that we are all on our own separate Journey and allow us each the Space to walk our Path.  I need to Consciously tune into My Sage to help me with My Caregiver Role as it can be challenging when I have Parents who are not well and I am wanting my Brother to be different in his Caregiver role - and of course this is outside my control - and I need to respect Boundaries.  In particular I believe that My Sage and My Caretaker can work together for the Greatest Good.   

I also sense that in My Caregiver Part of me I can offer the sense of holding hands with those I love and looking out in the same direction - looking at shared objectives and facing the future together.  This is one of my most challenging parts of my Journey right now - and I am Consciously trying to move away from the belief that "I need to be in the boat with you and I give my advice because I care" to "I am here for you and I respect your choices".  I feel that I can Consciously bring My Healer energy into my personal relationships to join together with My Caregiver.

When I feel drawn to work with children and communities living in poverty, I also feel a Call to My Caregiver Part of me.  I am not sure where this Call will lead me, although I know that one day I would love to visit and work with these communities.  For now, I am glad that we sponsor a little girl in Laos.  I am also committed to donate $5 every Coaching Session to Plan Australia, who is committed to helping empower children and communities to create a positive future.  I am drawn to images of Princess Diana and her charity work.

The other night I was watching a segment on ABC about the disaster in Pakistan, it breaks my heart seeing these people who have lost everything, babies are sick and families are hungry.  It is heartbreaking seeing a mother losing her baby.  We live in a world of consumerism, people wanting bigger TVs and jewellery and fancy clothes and cars and these children don't have food.   What is going on with this world?  Time to donate money.  My Man and I donated money to help bring food and relief to families in Pakistan.  I would like to do more.  There is something that is definitely resonating for me.  It was interesting when I reviewed my Family of Origin and Family Tree last year as part of my Counselling Certificate where I found that there was a Christian Missionary in my Family.  If I was younger now and not so keen to start my own Family, I would definitely be travelling to work in third world countries.  And for now I will continue to be aware and do what I can in terms of contribution.  


My Healer

I love My Healer Archetype - a Part of me that I have discovered since becoming a Coach.  In My Healer I can hold a Sacred Space with another, totally in my Presence.  I feel a Connection Heart to Heart.  When I was reading 'The Four-Fold Way' by Angeles Arrien, I loved reading about the Healer "Effective Healers from any culture are those who extend the arms of love: acknowledgement, acceptance, recognition, validation and gratitude."  One of my favourite parts of being a Coach is acknowledging my Client's Beauty and Strengths, acknowledging the Light within my Client, seeing my Client's Uniqueness and Greatness.  I ask God and the Universe that I can Love and Serve by being a Channel for Divine Energy - in my Coaching, I call on the Power of Spirit and my Angels to help me in my work as a Healer.  I feel the message of My Healer is "I Am Here to Heal with My Heart".

Similar to My Sage, it is exciting to move away from a belief that I have to know everything or have everything prepared and organised - instead, I can Trust that I am here to Serve and I can relax in the mystery and spaciousness and Trust I will be filled with Spirit.  My Healer energy also moves me away from having to be in my mind and always thinking, or self-conscious of having to get the right words, to a place of genuine, Heart to Heart Connection.

My Regular Gal

In my Regular Gal Archetype I feel that I can easily relax in this Part of me - there is no pressure to play a Role or perform, or try to fit in.  It is where I am just one of the Staff at work, or among Friends or Family.  In this Part of me I can enjoy a sense of belonging to the group, by being relaxed in my Self.  In this place I can stand in a belief that we are all the same - that we are all human, that we are not perfect, that we all have triumphs and we all have pain.  This Part of me believes that everyone is of value and deserves to be valued.  And I can hold the Paradox that we are all the same and that we all have our own Uniqueness and Greatness.  My Regular Gal, My Healer and My Sage can work together with a desire for Connection for the Highest Good.    

My Organiser

It has been great for me to Consciously bring My Organiser into the Stage of my life.  I have found that I often create clutter in my study and kitchen.  I can get enthusiastic and excited and so I bring in paperwork and my "things" and find that I don't always have places for all my "stuff".  My Man and I have moved in together and so between us we have combined our "stuff" in a combined Space - and yet this is not a reason or excuse.  I also find myself getting stuck sometimes, I organise for a while and then lose momentum.  In working with the different Parts of me I found a Sub-Personality that was almost keeping me stuck in the Past, it was the Part of me that was always searching and looking for my Path which would mean that I would continually have paperwork and moving from Project to Project.  And then My Sage comes in and guides me to see that I have found my lifework and I can therefore simplify my life and my home.  I have been working with My Organiser and I feel that there is so much potential for this Part of me to find a place for everything.  I also want to bring in My Organiser to help me with my time management and organising my Priorities - although I definitely want to ensure that there is Space for Spontaneity - just to follow my Heart and go with the flow.

I also feel that My Organiser is very hands on and physically active in getting things "done".  I definitely need to bring in the essence of both of these as I organise my study, my superannuation, my Spring clean and my garage sale - projects that are important to me.

In terms of My Organiser I feel that I am moving away from a belief of "I can't" to a new belief of "I can".  I always believed that it was my personality type that does create clutter in my home and study - now I am choosing a new belief of "I can choose to get organised and create systems, to create space and simplify".  It can be overwhelming as I have a lot to clear and organise - this is when I bring in my Sub-Personality of My Cheerleader.  My Cheerleader has been an essential part of me - encouraging and cheering me on - helping me to be motivated and focused for my Goals.

My Destroyer

I feel that My Destroyer has been fairly active in the last 2 years - cutting out of my life what is no longer working for me and no longer serving me.  I believe that the energy of My Destroyer will be important in working with My Organiser in some Spring cleaning Projects.  My Destroyer can be very Passionate, working with My Warrior and standing up for what is right and what is no longer relevant or outdated.  I also ask My Destroyer energy in, when I am looking at maintaining a healthy lifestyle, helping me cut out sugar and chocolate, where I would rather be eating healthy all the time (although not wanting the Perfectionist to rule my world).

 

My Lover
I have been getting to know My Lover Archetype at different levels - Love of Self, Love of My Man, Love of what I do, Love of All.  A few months ago I asked My Sage for some guidance in my relationship.  In my Meditation I could see my Future with My Man, a wonderful Future of Love and Ease and Laughter and Dreams coming true.  In the Meditation I was also shown an alternate Future, a life shared with a man from the past - in this Future, I saw myself walking through mud, being in hardship, feeling unloved and me trying to get love from him.  In this Meditation I also saw that I had stayed in that bad relationship for so long since it brought out my Lover and Goddess Archetype, which had not been Present in me for a long time.  I had been so focused on running and living the life of an athlete, and training my Body to be lean and fast, and was strict on myself, that this did not bring out the freedom and joy of being in my Goddess.  And so when I rediscovered this Part of Self, I did not want to let this go - and so I continued in a loveless relationship.  And then I cut this Part of Self off again, perhaps cutting my hair was an act of letting this go within Self.  I am now bringing this Part back in me again.

My Lover loves music and dancing and loves My Man.  My Lover is also discovering the joy of doing what I love, doing what has heart and meaning for me (a new belief) - rather than me trying to do something to attract or please others (which is where I spent years living in the Shadow of the Lover).  I love Shania Twain's music and she reminds me of My Lover Part of me.  In my 'Gathering of the Whole' Meditation, My Lover states "I Am Free, I Am Love".  Yes, I love the idea of freedom.  I definitely felt My Lover emerge when in a moment we decided to go skinny dipping late one night - I felt so free and it was wonderful to just embrace the moment.

And My Lover definitely loves turning off the tv, putting on music and dancing in the living area - life is to be enjoyed, moment to moment.  I am enjoying My Lover being present in my life, this is an energetic and enthusiastic part of me.

My Warrior

I look at the Exceptions, when I have been in My Warrior energy.  One of the recent examples was last year when I stood up for my Self and ended a relationship that was no longer serving me.  I remember feeling so in my Power, feeling so empowered.  There was also another time, when I met with a doctor recently to talk about my Coaching Business, and I also felt in My Warrior - communicating with Passion about my Coaching Business. When I am in My Warrior I feel that I communicate with Clarity and Strength.  I still have more to learn about My Warrior and yet I believe this energy and Part of me is an excellent Resource for my Journey.

I love reading about the Warrior Archetype in 'The Four-Fold Way' by Angeles Arrien and would like to build and strengthen and access the Universal Powers of "Power of Presence, Power of Communication and Power of Position".  I feel Excited that I am now very Present in the NOW.  In terms of Power of Communication, this is an area that I would like to develop further in my life - "Skillful communication means we have aligned content, timing and context".  "Communication that empowers and inspires us is communication that is delivered at the appropriate time and place for the person involved to hear and receive it."  I would like to communicate with more clarity and be succinct, fewer words and making every word count.  It's funny I have always thought that I was an Extravert and yet now I feel that I am enjoying a more inner, Introvert world - where I am feeling less need for words and I am enjoying more silence.  I find that this is allowing My Warrior to emerge when there are important words to be shared with another.  In terms of Power of Position, "The Warrior demonstrates the willingness to take a stand.  This is the capacity to let others know where we stand, where we don't stand, what we stand for, and how we stand up for ourselves." 

I am still working with this Archetype, wanting to be conscious of not bringing in a Shadow part that may speak from a place of anger or that may challenge another and creates conflict - especially with my Brother or in a difficult work situation.  Instead in My Warrior, I want to be able to be assertive and calm in clearly expressing my Truth and allowing others to respond with their Truth.  

My Nature Child

I love that My Nature Child Part of me is out in the Light.  I have been enjoying this Part of me all year.  My Nature Child just loves being out in Nature - I love Walking in the morning, being outdoors, feeling the breeze, listening to the Birds singing, loving the beauty of the flowers, enjoying Connection with Trees.  In my 'Gathering of the Whole' Mediation, when this Part of me comes forth, I notice a quietness and I have a sense that this Part of me has a strong Connection with all.  My Nature Child loves to come out everyday - the problem is, once My Nature Child is out in the world, My Nature Child does not want to go to work in an office.

My new belief in terms of Nature is that I am in Connection with all, and being in Nature is so important to my well-being, it is not just something that I want to do sometimes - being in Nature daily is vital to me.  I am also learning that as I say to God "I am here to serve you today, show me the way", that I am definitely being asked to step up, to show that I am true and authentic.  Just last week, as I am starting out for my Nature walk, very excited that I had an hour to enjoy the outdoors, I see a possum being attacked by a crow.  There were some workers from the school next door and we thought the possum might be dead.  Automatically I went into "save the possum" mode and we worked together as a team to get the possum safely in a box, and ensured the possum was taken to a local vet.  I realised that I never quite know where I will be called to service, and I was glad that it came naturally for me, to help rescue the possum.

My Wanderer

I am enjoying My Wanderer Part of me.  I feel My Wanderer is closely aligned with My Nature Child, enjoying a sense of wonder and freedom.  I love going for my Nature walks in the morning and My Wanderer would be happy to explore all day long.  I have a sense of setting off into the world, like a backpacker on a Journey.

And as I am in the NOW of my Journey I feel that there is so much joy, as if I am in a field of Sunflowers.

In My Wanderer I have a sense that I am on this Journey to discover my own individuality.  I am no longer the Executive or Manager working in a Corporate office.  I am here to live my Purpose to Spread The Yellow.  I am here to Connect Heart to Heart through my Coaching.  I am inviting My Wanderer more into my life where I can trust my Yin, my Intuition and allow my Yang ACTION to take me forward as I express my Individuality and Uniqueness, and help others to also connect to their own Light and Greatness.  I love this image of the Sunflower in the Field of Lavender which captures the essence of my Journey to stand in the sunlight and SHINE as ME.

I am changing my belief, where I would normally need to have the entire plan worked out.  I now have a sense that I need to relax and REALLY enjoy My Wanderer more often, allow my Self to enjoy the freedom, where I am no longer restricted by a corporate career and I CAN just relax more, walk more, be in My Wanderer more and just listen for the whispers of my Soul.  I can celebrate that I have the opportunity to be in My Wanderer.  When I find my Self going into an old pattern of busy, busy, busy, work, work, work, plan, plan, plan - I bring in the opportunity for more space in my day and my life - to allow my Self to be in My Wanderer.  The Shadow of this Part of me also believes that I have to keep searching, searching, searching, looking, looking, looking - and yet in the true essence of My Wanderer, I can just enjoy each day and Trust that as I follow my Intuition, this will lead to the Greatest Good for my Self and all.

I know that My Wanderer, My Visionary, My Creator and My Magician can all work together.

My Visionary
When I am out Walking, when I am not caught up in my thinking, I am conscious of allowing Space for My Visionary.  A long time ago I possibly believed that I had to think about my Future and think up ideas - now I believe that Vision is not of the mind, that it is of Spirit.  Just the other day, when I was out Walking, I had a Vision, the same Vision I have had a few times.  It is a Vision that feels so real, where I am lighting candles, one-by-one, and then those people go and light other candles, and then those people go and light candles, and so many people enjoy Light.  I look back on my very first Art Therapy from the first year of my Coaching Course and this is the image that I also created on paper.  In January this year, in a Meditation, I also had a Vision of me being in a Village, living and working among the community, where I am handing out Yellow pieces of paper.  I was also Gifted with the words 'Spread The Yellow' and I have a knowing that this is definitely my Purpose.  I feel My Visionary Archetype is around me and I would like to be more in touch with her Inspiration.  Most important is to get My Visionary working with My Creator, My Organiser and My Magician.

My Creator

In my Self-Reflection, I am realising that I would like My Creator to be more active in my life.  I feel that My Creator is the key to putting my Dreams into ACTION.  The essence of My Creator is colour, energy, enthusiasm, Light and bright and active.  My Creator is flowing and graceful. 

In my Coaching I am here to help my Clients Create A New Story for their lives.  And so it is important for me that I am active in Creating My Own Story.  I feel that I have the Power within me to write my own Story, not just journaling about the Past or Present - but putting my Vision and Goals down on paper.  I want to write an Exciting Story and make this come true for me.

As well as painting the picture, My Creator is also active in putting all of the pieces together to Create the extraordinary artwork of my life, and bring projects alive.

I recently felt My Creator in action when I designed a competition for my Coaching Business, which has been wonderful in connecting with new Clients.  I followed my Yin Intuition and my Yang made it happen.  In My Creator I definitely want to be maximising the Power of my Yin and Yang to bring my Ideal Life into reality.  Every morning I look at my Vision Board that I have Created and yet I also know that I have to take ACTION and allow My Creator to be active in my life.  In My Creator Archetype I believe that ALL IS POSSIBLE!!!  I have the Power to make my Dreams come true!

My Magician
In my 'Gathering of the Whole' Meditation I am moved to go down a flight of stairs, where I enter a deeper Meditation and through the forest I can see a Light.

I have a sense of My Magician - this is another Part of me that I am inviting to play a bigger part in my life.  I have a sense of my Magician sending out Yellow bubbles of my Dreams and Intent and trusting that these will Manifest for me.  I feel that My Magician is the Part that can become more active in my life - where I am able to activate the power of the 'Law Of Attraction', where I can clarify what I want, and I can send this wish out to the Universe, asking for God and my Angels to help me.

I was very touched recently when a Friend of mine called me 'Magic Girl' and referred a Client to me for Coaching and said that I bring Magic into people's lives.  Hearing these words made my heart sing.  I definitely want to be more in my Magic.

I am enjoying reading 'Everyday Grace' by Marianne Williamson and I am Inspired by her words "Each of us carries, in the depths of our consciousness, a boxful of mystical tools.  And central to our tool kit is the magic wand.  A wand is not just stillness from children's literature.  Fairy tales are rife with Archetypal truths that teach not only children, but open-minded adults as well, deep and fundamental truths about the nature of our reality.  A wand is a medium of power, not just for wizards, but also for you and me.  A wand is essentially a principle, an intention, a focused thought.  When focused thought is negative, it creates ill.  And when focused thought is loving and enlightened, it creates miraculous breakthroughs."


My Jester
My Jester Part of me loves to laugh and have fun.  My Jester likes to play, make jokes and be funny.  I feel My Jester come out at work and at home, living in the moment and lightening the mood for Family, Friends and colleagues.  My Jester loves shaking things up and seeing everyone laughing.

I welcome in My Jester to be more Present in my life.  I love that Humor is one of the Coaching Competencies and I am really Excited that my Jester has just started coming forth in my Coaching, very naturally, and creating lightness and brightness during a Session.  


My Innocent Child
Today in Meditation I found the energy of My Child - the Innocent part of me.  I have read that the Innocent Archetype is a Call for the "desire for purity, goodness and simplicity".  As I bring in all My Archetypes I definitely don't want to lose a sense of My Innocence.

 
I sometimes feel that there is so much to do and so many books to read and so much to do and so many books to read.  And then I stop and remember that all of the answers are inside me, that I can just Trust my Self.  And then this sounds all so serious - and so I remember to lighten up, be less serious, be playful and have fun.  My Innocent Child takes away the Part of me that makes life complicated - and gets me back to simplicity.  In the past My Innocent Child may have walked alone - now My Innocent has the backing and protection of all of the other Archetypes - where I am realising to walk only in one Archetype does not serve me or others.

FEELING INSPIRED

I have learnt that each Archetype has a way of being, a posture, a way of moving.  I am also conscious that each Archetype has a Shadow Sub-Personality with beliefs that do not serve.  Some of my Archetypes have come out of the Shadow and into the Light, and in the Light they have a different way of being, with Empowering  beliefs.  When they are in the Light I can choose the way they "show up" for me.  Now that all of these Parts of me are in the Light, I am wanting them to work together as a Team and help me live a life of Love, Light, Peace, Truth, Service.  Every morning I look at my Vision Board and I believe that the Strength and Teamwork of my Archetypes is the key to my Present and my Future.  

This experience has been so beneficial to me.  It has been so wonderful in helping me learn about the depth of our Being, the Energy and Power that is within us all - that can help us to be Empowered in our lives.  I know I have so many Choices in terms of my Internal Focus for Change - I can choose and design my inner experiences and my life.  I have found my Strengths and Resources.  I can choose what Archetypes to bring on the Stage in my life and I especially love that My Archetypes naturally emerge when I am in my Presence of Love and Light.  I have found my Self.  I feel Excited and Inspired. 

I will continue to enjoy the Opportunity For Self-Reflection on a daily basis, to be a Witness to my Self, as I commit myself to living a life of Love and Service in my Professional and Personal Life.

This is my Journey and I CHOOSE TO LIVE!!!  AND LOVE!!!  I CHOOSE FREEDOM TO BE TRUE TO MY SOUL'S JOURNEY.

I am VERY Excited that I can now help my Clients at a deeper level - I can help them get in touch with their own Archetypes, accessing their own Lifetools to Serve them on their own Journeys and bring their own Dreams into reality.   I am especially Excited about helping Clients access their Sage, learning to access and Trust their own Inner Knowing.  And I love helping my Clients get in touch with their own Creator, allowing them to see their own potential to Create A New Story for their lives.  And of course I see that my own experience with My Caregiver, and the huge lessons that I am learning, will allow me to be empathetic and understanding of my Clients and also helpful in looking at the possibilities and opportunities for change.  And as I bring in My Magician more and more in my own life, I am hoping this will increase my own confidence in helping activate this Archetype in others. 

I have been busy putting together my Toolbox with all of my Coaching Tools, and there are so many Coaching Tools available on so many different areas.  Although, I enjoy having all of these Resources available for my Clients, I definitely have a sense that the greatest Resource for me as a Coach is being in My Presence, being in My Yellow Heart and feeling a Heart to Heart Connection with my Clients.  And from this  Sacred Space of Love and Light, I Trust that My Archetypes (My Inner Toolbox) will naturally emerge in my Role as a Coach.


As a Coach I am Honoured and Passionate about helping my Clients Love Self and Love Life.

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